Can You Create Your Own Power Outage this Holiday Season?

Growing up in the Dominican Republic, apagones - or power outages, were quite common and happened frequently. During these apagones - especially if they happened at nighttime, we would have to stop whatever we were doing, due to the lack of light and water. It was usually very hot without the use of air conditioning or fans, and TV was not an option for entertainment without electricity.

But those things aren’t what stand out in my memory. What I remember the most about those apagones was how something magical would happen. My family would gather on the front porch to get some fresh air. We would sit quietly, pointing flashlights at the garden, and watching our dog chase the light. Some of us would claim the rocking chair and gaze at the stars, paying close attention to them in a way we usually didn’t. These moments were special, calm, and genuine - allowing for deep connections.

My mom would help us visualize being in snowy Alaska to cope with the heat, and my dad would ask philosophical questions and spark stories we would all pay close attention to. It was like the stillness and connection one experiences around a campfire.

These quiet moments were beautiful. When the power would come back on, many celebrated, but for me, it meant the party was over. That a special moment just ended and we would all return to the usual busyness of the day to day.

I think about this a lot, especially as the holiday season picks up. We may think the holidays are all about connection. Full of big gatherings, family reunions, dinners with friends, and exchanging gifts as gestures of appreciation. Overall, it can be a very joyful and beautiful time. However, amidst all of these celebrations and bustling moments, it can also be very easy to overlook those genuine, meaningful connections. We can tend to lump everything - and everyone, together, and therefore forget to cherish and appreciate each family member for who they are and for what they individually need.

Don’t get me wrong, group interactions are definitely fun and certainly have their place. But by their nature, they reduce individual attention and encourage more superficial interactions. We each take on our “role” in a group, so to say. Some people are more boisterous. Others quieter. This doesn’t just apply to in-person groups, either. Online group chats on platforms like WhatsApp can offer a great place to socialize and share information, but can also leave people feeling exposed, ganged up on, or altogether ignored.

In short, they can’t replace those precious and intimate one-on-one moments. Especially around the holidays, we have to be vigilant and intentional in making those moments happen.

And so, I challenge you to create your own apagón this holiday season. What would it feel like to occasionally shut off the busyness and the “electricity” this month, in order to carve out those quieter and deeper one-on-one connections with the important people in your life?

Here are some simple ideas to help you do just that. And bonus points, you can carry these ideas well past the holiday season!

Create personalized gifts: Handmade gifts or personalized items (photo albums, poems…) show thoughtfulness and effort. They can capture shared memories and special moments.

Cook a special meal together: Preparing and sharing a meal can be a wonderful bonding experience. Choose recipes that have sentimental value or try cooking something new together.

Write letters or notes: Express your feelings and appreciation through heartfelt letters or notes. These can be kept and cherished for years to come.

Volunteer together: Spend time giving back to the community. Volunteering as a family can strengthen bonds and create a sense of shared purpose.

Take a walk together: Whether it's a stroll through a local park or a walk around the neighborhood, spending time walking and talking can be a great way to connect. It provides a relaxed environment to share thoughts and enjoy each other's company.

Start a new tradition: Create a new holiday tradition that everyone looks forward to each year. It could be anything from a special holiday breakfast, to a unique way of decorating the house.

Share a hobby or interest: Engage in an activity that you both enjoy, such as painting, gardening, or playing a musical instrument. Sharing a hobby can strengthen your bond and create lasting memories.

Have a heartfelt conversation: Set aside time for a deep, meaningful conversation. Ask open-ended questions about their dreams, fears, and experiences. Listening attentively and sharing your own thoughts can deepen your connection. If you can't be together in person, organize a virtual 1:1 get-together with your loved one.

Share a book or movie: Choose a book or movie that you both enjoy or that has special meaning to your relationship. Spend time reading or watching it together, and then discuss your thoughts and feelings about it. This shared experience can deepen your connection and provide plenty of conversation topics.

Reconnect: If you haven't connected with a loved one in a while, make it a point to reach out and catch up. Ask them about their current activities, what they're looking forward to, and what's happened since you last spoke.

Please don't get me wrong… I absolutely love those big, fun, and joyful gatherings. I'm simply suggesting that we shouldn't lose sight of the individual and unique connections we can make with each of our loved ones. After all, these connections are the true gifts of life!