Bridging the Gap: My Journey Towards Authenticity
As a coach, I get to partner with parents on their personal journeys. I get to help support them as they discover and reconnect with their authentic selves. It’s amazing to see the magic first-hand as people come to appreciate and express who they truly are. And of course, the coolest part for me is to see how our children respond when we’re authentically us. It gives them the permission and confidence to do the same.
Yet, even though I get a front-row seat to this experience time and time again, I’ve come to my own profound realization: I have SO much of my own work to do in this area.
In my current generative coaching training with Invite Change, I was encouraged to take a good, long look at myself in order to connect with my essence. Of course I could do that, no problem! After all, I know all about these explorations of introspection and self-discovery. I could practically write a book about it! …or so I thought.
I was shocked to learn through this experience just how much room I have to still grow. Despite my ongoing intentional efforts toward personal growth, it became uncomfortably clear to me that in aspects of my personal life, there are core pieces of my essence that I’ve never allowed myself to fully express for whatever reasons. Can you believe it? I’ve been blocking my own potential and personal growth without even realizing it!
I hear my own voice saying what I would say to a client, “Once you’re able to fully express yourself, you can claim, connect, communicate (and coach, in my case) from your whole self. It’s the catalyst to unlocking your maximum potential.”
Yet here I am, not following my own advice by not honoring authentic parts of myself.
If you know me, you know that I love myself very deeply - and I love working on myself as well. That much is absolutely true. And I can confidently say that I very consciously nurture and protect my true essence in my professional life. But when I peeled back the layers on my personal life, that’s where things started to be a bit more hazy.
I acknowledged that in an attempt to keep certain relationships running smoothly, I’ve spent years (or maybe even a lifetime?) neglecting parts of my fully authentic self. Of course, this isn’t serving anyone. In fact, holding back pieces of myself seems to be at the root of the conflict in these near and dear relationships.
We all know relationships can be complicated. Since we’re each our own complex living and breathing being, it’s so hard to find that place where we can be fully authentic and comfortable in our owns skins AND also in a transparent and unwavering relationship. It’s sadly not typically the case. In fact, I would very strongly encourage you to hold on tightly to those heavenly relationships where you do feel like you can be fully yourself, because they’re priceless. But oftentimes, we instead find ourselves giving up beautiful bits of our authenticity in exchange for that fleeting sense of acceptance and belonging that we all crave as humans. And what’s more, we’ve likely been paying this high price since we were little, in seeking the attachment and acceptance of our parents and caregivers.
How liberating would it feel for somebody to tell your younger self that you don’t have to do anything to gain love, appreciation, and acceptance from others? That you’re free to just be fully you and will be loved and appreciated as such? This is the messaging I’m learning to tell myself now.
It’s not our job to seek validation and appreciation externally. Nor is it our job to defend who we are to others. Instead, it’s our challenge and great opportunity to look internally to find our own unconditional self-appreciation. Only then can we step into our fullest potentials and most authentic selves.
This Invite Change training program has been that kind of a mirror for me. It’s reflected aspects of myself that I thought I had already addressed in my life. But of course, as happens, just when I believed I had “done the work,” I find myself gaining new awareness around it all. It’s both humbling and eye-opening.
And it’s also liberating and offers an exciting opportunity! I’ve come to realize that because of this personal work I have to do, there’s a subtle gap between the messages I passionately share with my clients, and my own personal struggles. To be clear, I’m not saying I’m a total fake when I share my message. But, I’m now awake to a slight dissonance between “Patricia the coach” and “Patricia the person.”
Well, I don’t want that gap anymore. I want to bridge it by working towards being more authentic in all aspects and relationships in my personal life. I am committed to continuing to do the work. To aligning my internal world with the messaging I share with you, my clients. Of course it will be a journey where I’ll be faced with embracing vulnerability and acknowledging my imperfections. For anyone who’s ever “done the work” for themselves, you know exactly what I’m talking about.
I invite you to join me on this journey. I challenge you to dig deep (or not so deep) to find the ways in your life where you’re not being fully true to yourself. Let’s embrace our vulnerabilities together and commit to the ongoing work of self-discovery. Because I know for a fact that we can bridge the gaps and live a fuller, more satisfying life when we work towards expressing all those beautifully authentic pieces to make us “us.”
Thank you for always supporting me and showing up in your personal journey to help me through my own. And thank you for holding me in my own vulnerabilities. I feel so grateful to be on this life path with you.
Currently Running
Next one in February 2025.
Private message me if interested in joining the next one!